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文/刘宝彩/天津
先看A篇，然后看B篇英语作文，大考考生也就会知道：高分和低分的差距究竟差在哪里？距在哪里？
A篇
I, LI Ming, write you “English Garden” an article on such subject as “giving is receiving” providing a warmer charity-supporting and show-care help kindly with some people in trouble.
This, I feel, brings them both to be filled with happiness and develop a friendly relationship between each other, enabling their good job to leave them enough time to enjoy the fruits of their success in having a life unexpectedly.
It reminds me comfortably that I must tell one of my classmates, student boy, LIJin, who falls sick not to go to school but stay home, that 4-subjecct teachers set homework on Math, Chemistry, Chinese and English for students, and that I can reply to him on a question he would have, if any. These are to hand to teachers, on next day when he is in school, whom to catch by surprise.
The news comes to students and teachers that they praise me not only for helping him with his homework to finish in time, but for having always given some classmates in need my pencils or exercise paper which they forgot to bring to Class carelessly.
I get excited at a great help to me to find out a surprisingly unexpected fact that I have some received in donations, some students in my Class would make, to my mother who in hospital recovering from a heart operation.
This inspires me to believe in such words“Please help someone in difficulties by giving some to them spiritually and physically”as my English teacher says in English. They can keep me have a place in my mind, that is helping me express my appreciate and thanks so much sincerely to them, whose action makes them respected, in my view.
A篇的中文意思是：我叫李明向贵“英语角”投一篇关于“付出就是收获”涉及向遇到困难人提供帮助献温暖爱心的英文稿件。这让我感到给人与人既充满幸福感，又发展了彼此的友好关系，由此很棒的做法会留下具有意想不到生活中的收获。
这样让我无遗憾地回想起：由于一位男生李津同学生病在家没上课，因此我把四学科老师留给同学们的语文、数学、物理和英语的作业转告给他，并告他如有不明白的问题，可以问我。转天，李津上课如常交作业让老师感到意外。此事，老师表扬了我帮助李津及时地完成作业，不仅这个消息在同学中不胫而走，还有老师表扬我帮助同学解决一点儿小“困难”——我借给一些同学因粗心忘带笔和练习本的——消息在师生中传开。
让我极为惊讶和出乎意料之外而受到感动的是，班上一些同学们为了我的妈妈住院因心脏手术后康复作了一些捐赠东西。
因此使我相信英语老师说的一句英语：帮助他人精神和物质解忧就是解自己之忧。这样让我从心里念念不忘他们让我表达对其真诚的感激和谢意，所以我觉得他们的作为使得他们受到尊敬。
B篇
I am a student from Green Middle School. My name is Peter. I like helping others because I think it makes me happy. For example, I often help my classmates with their homework; sometimes I also help clean up city parks; I go to the old people’s home and do some cleaning for them once a month. So I feel pretty popular there. I usually visit the children’s hospital to cheer the sick kids up or read stories and sing songs for them. I’m good with children. I give money to charities to help a lot of people in trouble, too. Giving is receiving. As one of students, helping others is also helping ourselves. Do you agree with me?
B篇的中文意思是：我是格林中学一个学生。我叫皮特。我喜欢帮助他人，因为我认为它使得我快乐。例如，我常常帮助同班同学作作业；有时我也帮助清洁城市公园；每月一次去老人家为其打扫卫生。所以在那我感到受欢迎。我常常访问儿童医院使孩子们快活起来或为其读故事唱歌。我擅长孩子。我捐钱给慈善机构帮助困难的人们。付出就是收获。作为一名学生，帮助他人也就是帮助我们自己。你同意我的观点吗？
上述A和B两篇英语作文是依据以下条件写的
假设你是李明，你们学校的”ENGLISH GARDEN”正在举办“付出就是收获”的征文活动，请你联系自己平时的爱心行为和感受写一篇投稿。
点评上述两篇英语作文：
A篇符合考生联系自己“平时”的爱心行为和“感受”之写作条件，因此写英语作文的学生做的微不足道的“小事”见精神，如：把老师留给同学们的作业转告给生病在家没上课的李津同学；借给一些同学因粗心忘带的笔和练习本。为此得到一些同学为了英语写作者的妈妈住院因心脏手术后康复作了一些捐赠的爱心。正是爱心得出“带给人与人既充满幸福感，又发展了彼此的友好关系，由此很棒的做法会留下具有意想不到生活中的收获”之感想。而且按照英语逻辑思维原理“原因←提示→结果”写作英语。
B篇难符合考生联系“自己平时”的爱心行为和“感受”，如：1帮助同班同学作业；2清洁城市公园；3每月一次去老人家为其打扫卫生；4访问儿童医院使孩子们快活起来或为其读故事唱歌；5捐钱给慈善机构帮助困难的人们。其中就学生的作出爱心行动的“可行性和可信性”值得商榷。
其中，2、3、4、5一般都是班集体的活动，而不是个人“你”的活动，唯有1的活动是个人所能办到的。再说“2清洁城市公园；3每月一次去老人家为其打扫卫生；4访问儿童医院使孩子们快活起来或为其读故事唱歌”的活动都做了，学生就没有时间学习了，就不具可行性和可信性，而不符合逻辑和事实情理，这样所得出的“付出就是收获及作为一名学生，帮助他人也就是帮助我们自己”的感受是错的，因为前提条件或事实很难说是真实的。
由此看来，这些问题就是英语写作“卡脖子”的主要原因之一，还有“模板套路”的痕迹及逻辑“断层”的问题。
学生应需要以A篇的“爱心行为和感受”之思路参考写作为好。达到——期待的英语逻辑写作法，比现有“抄模板套范文”和“走捷径”英语写作法更有效，所以提升英语写作效度与信度——如此从根本上解决英语写作“卡脖子”的问题。
总结：
看了上述A篇和B篇英语写作，大考英语考生知道如何提高英语作文能力了；A篇解决了大考英语得高分的问题！祝考生们写作英语作文“有词儿写，有词儿知道怎么写”，愿考生们得高分！可以为考生修改所写大考英语作文，如考生愿付10元便OK了。
